I don’t know about you, but part of aging for me means questioning certain things that I once considered to be just part of being a woman. Covering up my gray hair was one of those things. I grew up in the 60s and 70s, when the only women I saw with gray hair were either in their golden years (the blue rinse set) or “hippy types” who embraced all things natural. The rest were firmly addicted to the bottle—of hair dye. Now, it looks like more and more women are saying “no” to the bottle and choosing to accept—even love—their natural hair colour. And by a certain age for many of us, “natural” means one of the other “50 shades of grey.”
My adventures in hair colouring began following an unfortunate experience with a product called Sun In when I was 18. Anyone remember that delightful product?? I believe it promised to bring out my natural blond highlights. Well, my hair was as close to orange as it’s possible to get when not doing it on purpose. I was in a pickle then, because there was no way to undo my new do. Thus began my ride on the hair colouring treadmill. At first, though, I found it kind of fun. Initially, I went blond since I was already part way there. Then, after a decade as a blond, I thought, “Let’s try life as a redhead!” By my 40s, though, the fun was over. I was a slave to dying my hair back to its natural brown colour—which was, by then, clearly a good percentage more gray than brown.
Within two weeks of my monthly touch-ups, I now had the dreaded “skunk stripe” and worried about my roots when it was windy out. Eventually, I reluctantly began shelling out $150-$200 a month for a cut and colour with highlights to help make the roots less obvious. It was time to go on the “mature hair program”, my stylist said. Ouch. That hurt my ego, my scalp AND my frugal nature. But mostly, I resented being in a salon for two hours on a beautiful weekend day just to keep my roots at bay. I hated it, but I didn’t see any options.
Oprah to the rescue! A short time later, I was flipping through “O” magazine and came across a 5-page story on women who had never coloured their hair. And their hair looked…acceptable! That was my conclusion: “I would be fine with that hair! What am I doing fighting this?” I showed the magazine article to Wonderful Husband (who was at the time my boyfriend of only several months). “ I am thinking about going gray.” I said. “Go for it!!” was his response. You can see the online version of the article I read that day here:https://www.oprah.com/style/7-gorgeous-gray-hair-makeovers/all
The next day, I googled “transitioning to natural colour” and eureka! This was a thing! Others were doing it and there was even a chat room where I could share my progress and challenges with others. Shout out to Diana Jewell, author of the book and creator of the corresponding website “Going Gray, Looking Great” – I am sure my commitment may have wavered without the support of “the gray ladies’ , as my teenage son called them.
As any woman who has undertaken going gray after colouring their hair for a long time will tell you, not only is it not a fast or easy process, it’s also not pretty. You have your natural roots, your mid-tones of the recently-coloured hair, and, if you have long hair, as I did, you have your brassy, washed out ends. Tri-tone hair—wonderful! I was determined to get through it, but others were a bit mortified. Well-meaning friends said “Are you sure you want to do this?? It might make you look older.” Others just thought it was too soon. Maybe wait 5 or 10 more years. Even strangers felt the need to weigh in—About two months into the grow-out journey, I was standing at the checkout at a high-end department store when I saw a woman at the neighbouring hair salon looking over at me. Oh boy, here we go. I thought. Sure enough, after watching me for a few moments, she walked over and slipped me a business card. “I can help you,” she whispered to me with a smile. O.M.G. I wanted to start wearing a sign around my neck that read “Yes, I know I look a hot mess right now, but I am doing this on purpose!” I just took her card and smiled.
And, I am happy to report that it was worth all that awkwardness! A full year after beginning the journey, I had grown out and cut off all the old hair and, for the first time in over twenty years, I had a head full of natural hair. I will never colour it again. People say: “Never say never” but this is one promise to myself I will keep – I have kicked the bottle and, for me, there is no going back.
For those that love the process and look of colouring my hair – that’s great—all the power to you! But for others who, like me, were doing it because they felt they had no choice, or feared they would look…gasp…older—will you consider the alternative? Whatever you do, I hope you’re true to YOU!
